Published May 2005.
Read the Preface Here
From the Publisher
"An Inch From Murder: My Life as a Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse"
by Nealus - Purchase Here
From Amazon.com
"An Inch From Murder: My Life as a Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse"
by Nealus - Buy
Here
ISBN
978-1-58939-730-9. $15.95. Softcover. 322 Pages.
An Inch From Murder was written 20 years ago and is now being
brought to print for the very first time and deals with life as a Male
Victim of Sexual Child Abuse. Drawing from the memory of past molestations
from the age of four until sixteen, a trauma unfolded in adulthood
profiling Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The uncanning of the abuse by
seven men (including Catholic Priests, a policeman, close relatives and
friends) resulted in the attempted murder of my latest assailant; the
ensuing incarceration and the attempt now to bring the issues of Male
Victimization into focus. I have come out from the main stratum of society
to become a sexual abuse statistic; and a criminal statistic as well. Now,
my desired hope is that I can prevent a victim of Sexual Child Abuse (SCA)
from developing into a criminal statistic, and more importantly, work
towards preventing the SCA statistic in the first place.
FROM THE AUTHOR:
I always thought that I would live a long life in order to tell my story.
But at 52, I doubted that I'd have the strength to really tell what I
needed to say, at some later date. I learned in June 2004 that my
Congestive Heart Failure - Cardiomyopathy, had not improved and that I was
in need of a Heart Transplant. I reminded myself of my pledge 20 years ago
that "If I Might Save One Person's Life" from the misery that I suffered
by telling my story; by having someone read, that there is hope and
recognition for the abused, that you can get help before it's too late,
then I truly will have accomplished something in my lifetime. From 1984
through 1986, I experienced a life of fear in a maximum security prison in
Connecticut and in the States' Mental Institution for the Criminally
Insane. I went back to the notes that I made 20 years ago in my jail cells
of 15 months, and edited all that information as a Male Survivor of Sexual
Child Abuse.
*****************
An Inch From Murder - is My Life As A Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse - It's
about Boston Catholic Priests; being Sexually Molested, Sexually
Assaulted,
Sodomized and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
BOOKS - And I'm Just Getting Started
During my incarceration in 1984 onwards - one of the most important things
I got to do in jail was to read. On average, I read three books a week.
The first book I read was:
"Is There No Place On Earth For Me?" by Susan Sheehan.
It is a story about a mentally ill girl and her struggles. I related to
this story for many reasons mostly because I really felt that I had
head problems other than just alcoholism. Although, I didn't have a
clinically defined illness as this girl had in this book, you can relate
or identify with the difficulties people experience when you yourself feel
similar confusion.
Shortly after reading this book I read an article that appeared in the
Hartford Courant's Northeast Magazine [Hartford Connecticut] that made
quite an impression on me. The article was about Author Louise Armstrong
and her book:
The Home Front: Notes from the Family War Zone
Also mentioned was her first book:
Kiss Daddy Goodnight
Ms. Armstrong had successfully written the first book by a woman
indicating the fact of her being a victim of sexual child abuse. She was
heralded as "the first walking, talking incest victim". And I respected
that and wanted to be the first male to disclose the experiences of being
a survivor as well.
Not only did I need to read and learn and see articles like this, I needed
to write to people - and I wrote to a lot of people - sometimes receiving
positive reinforcement for my wish to write a book. Most of the time I
never heard back from people.
In February, I had written to the Executive Director of the National
Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse in Chicago and now in March I
received one of the most helpful replies in my whole life. I received a
packet of information from Joy Byers (her real name) Assistant in Public
Awareness. The information was super helpful. I felt really encouraged.
One of the most interesting pieces of material was about a program called
PIP - The Parents in Prison Program.
Parents in Prison is an inmate organization housed at the Tennessee State
Prison for Men. Through a series of educational courses and special
events, the organization provides an innovative approach to strengthening
families and developing parental skills and commitments during a father's
incarceration.
* * * * *
July 23, 2004
It is really remarkable - to discover - that many of the books that I read
20 years ago - are no longer readily available. Not surprising
though when you think of it. Yet - many have become reprints and of
the many books that I read over a fifteen month period - I only saved
excerpts from the following; apparently because these were the more
important to me - and/or had the most impact.
I didn't read many books about Child Abuse from 1986 onwards. And
I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I was concentrating on
writing my book. Then again - I did read - but it was of books from
other genres. After finishing this book - An Inch From Murder - I
think that I will go back to reading - all that I have missed in print
about Sexual Child Abuse over the past twenty years.
It isn't do much - that I have been unaware of what has been in the public
domain since 1986 - and yes - many things came to surface - with the
Catholic Priests etc. - that opened up new wounds - I just didn't read
books as much - once I discovered the Internet.
See:
The Personality of the Alcoholic; Guises of Dependency by Howard T. Blane
A Season In Hell by Percy Knauth
The Better Way to Drink
by Wayne R. Bartz, Roger E. Vogler
The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-III by
American Psychiatric Association
Holistic Medicine; From Stress to Optimum Health
by Kenneth R. Pelletier
Sexual Abuse; Let's Talk About It by Margaret O. Hyde
Cry Softly!: The Story Of Child Abuse by Margaret O. Hyde
Child Abuse by Edward F. Dolan
A Silent Tragedy; Child Abuse In The Community by Peter DeCourcy
Born to Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments by Muriel
James, Dorothy Jongeward
Feeling Good; The New Mood Therapy
by David D. Burns
Pulling Your Own Strings Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People
and Living Your Life as You Choose by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Sky The Limit by Wayne W. Dyer
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith
Assertion Training; A Humanistic-Behavioral Guide to Self Dignity by
Sherwin B Cotler
Invasions of Privacy: Notes from a Celebrity Journalist by Marian Christy
Broken Promises, Mended Dreams by Richard Meryman
You Are Not Alone: Understanding and Dealing With Mental Illness : A Guide
for Patients, Families, Doctors, and Other Professionals by Clara
Claiborne Park
New Guide To Rational Living by A. Ellis
The Magic Of Believing by Claude Bristol
Take Effective Control of Your Life by William Glasser
Anger; Psychology, Physiology, Pathology by Frederic Rudolph Stearns
What Freud Really Said by David Stafford-Clark
The Hidden Addiction and How to Get Free by Alan Nourse, Janice Phelps
Treasury Of Success Unlimited by Og Mandino
Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
How To Stop Worrying And Start Living Again by Dale Carnegie
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
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Sex Offenders
Hounded by the
Law
California has not
established an online
sex-offender registry,
and
some police have
divulged names and
addresses of parolees
in their
areas.
Potential victims must
be protected, the cops
say, but some fear
vigilantism.
SEX OFFENDER:
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The accused
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excerpt from
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For most offenders,
address verification is
on a
yearly basis, but
for those who have
been designated as
a sexually violent
predator,
address
verification is
required every
90 days.
Under Title 18,
United States Code,
Section 2241(a)(c) -
Aggravated Sexual
Abuse, shall
register
annually or every 90
days for life. All
other individuals required
to register as
a sex
offender shall do
so annually for at least
10 years after release from prison.
Pedophile
Associated
Offenses:
Child Rape -
Sexual Intercourse -
Victim Less Than
16 Years Old
Unlawful Sexual
Contact
Unlawful
Sexual Intercourse Without Consent
Rape Sexual
Penetration Victim
<16 years or
younger without
consent>
Indecent Exposure
First Degree - Male exposed Genitals
Buttocks to Under
16
Violation of
Probation
Unlawful Flight to
Avoid Prosecution
Failure to Register
as a Sex Offender
Continuous Sexual
Abuse of a Child
Sodomy
(against a minor); Aggravated Sodomy (against a minor)
Statutory Rape
Child Molestation; Aggravated Child Molestation
Enticing a child for indecent purposes
Aggravated Sexual
Battery
Criminal sexual
contact toward a
minor
Solicitation of a
minor to engage
in sexual contact
Use of a minor in
sexual performance
Any conduct that
by its nature is a
sexual offense against
a minor
Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault
Predatory Criminal
Sexual Assault
of a Child
Criminal Sexual
Abuse
Aggravated Criminal Sexual Abuse
Child Pornography
Ritualized Abuse of
a Child
Sexual Exploitation of
a Child
Exploitation of a Child
Criminal Sexual
Assault
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