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September 12, 2005
Child sexual abuse results in loss of trust
Sexual abuse of a child is an uncomfortable topic to discuss. Two Blount County mental health professionals, however, wish to share information so that children are protected from this heinous crime.
Tracie Walker, a licensed clinical social worker at LifeLine Counseling specializing in the treatment of children who have been sexually abused, and Stacy Park, licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at Peninsula Hospital, spoke recently about the effects of sexual abuse on the victims.
Walker, who has worked in the field of sexual abuse 20 years, said, ``There's been a lot in the news about child abduction and there's a big scare about strangers, but a greater threat to children is to be sexually abused by someone close to the family or in the family, someone they know, love and trust. I think when we have a lot of media coverage about strangers, it gives a false sense of security that our kids are okay.''
Statistics on the number of children who are sexually abused vary in accuracy, Walker said, because many instances are never reported. Her main concern is to treat children, adolescents, adult survivors and non-offending parents in regaining the trust that was lost as a result of the crime, and to help in the prevention of such abuse.
Suspicious signs
Certain behaviors may indicate that a child -- male or female -- has been a victim of sexual abuse.
``The most concerning symptom is that some children act out on other children the abuse that was done to them,'' Walker said. ``But you also have children who become very clingy all of a sudden to parents, or children who suddenly are afraid of the bathroom or the bedroom, which might indicate something happened there. Teenagers often have eating disorders. Kids may be angry and no one knows what it's about because they haven't disclosed sexual abuse. Even after they disclose, they may feel guilty, think they have done something wrong.''
In addition, the child may have very low self-esteem, and if the abuser is a trusted parent or friend, will grieve the loss of the relationship.
Park said some children react to sexual abuse with rage or extreme sadness and distrust of others. Other indicators may include suicidal or homicidal threats, isolation from peers and dismissal of activities they once enjoyed.
If the abuser is a member of the child's family, other family members may be angry toward the child and the parents for reporting the abuse. The parents need counseling, as well, to deal with this second betrayal.
There is no ``typical'' sexual offender.
``That is what is unfortunate,'' Park said. ``You can't `pin' a sexual offender just by looking at him or her. Just like the person who has become addicted to drugs, an offender can come from all walks of life and all socio-economic situations. The common factor is that the sexual offender makes you like him or her, they are usually someone who has led up to the abuse by performing `grooming' activities where the victim is entranced into trusting the offender.''
A lot of energy is spent setting up the abuse, Walker added.
``This is not a spur of the moment thing,'' Walker said. ``It starts in advance. Either the abuser is in the family or finds a way to be with the family, then befriends the child.''
The abuser begins by making the child feel special, giving extra treats or privileges. The next stage is physical touch that appears to be appropriate to gauge the child's and the parents' responses. Stage three progresses to inappropriate touching that may lead to intercourse, and in stage four, the child is sworn to secrecy either by threats or coercion, sometimes by rewards.
Rebuilding trust
Park said child sexual abuse is a factor in many patients admitted to Peninsula Hospital, both as children and in the adult population.
``Once abuse occurs, the wounds take time to heal which is best addressed in counseling to help the survivor of the abuse learn to cope with what has happened to him or her,'' Park said. ``Treatment for children must begin with a counselor who has experience in dealing with abuse victims. The process is not quick and it has to begin with a strong level of trust in the counselor first for the child to feel a level of safety to open up and being the true work that is necessary.''
Prevention of child sexual abuse begins with assuring that the child knows the difference between good and bad touches, and knows who to tell if something does happen. A child should never be forced to submit to tickling, hugging or other touches, and when he/she says no, adults should respect the boundaries. Be vigilant; if your gut tells you something isn't right, err on the side of the child and keep them away from the person in question.
If a child reports abuse, he/she should always be taken seriously, Walker said.
``Act like you believe them, even if you don't, and protect them until more evidence is gathered,'' she said. ``I have not found cases where children of their own being have made up things.''
Posted by Nealus at September 12, 2005 12:54 PM
