« Bill to protect young abuse accusers closer to law | Main | Employers Not Liable for Abuse, Courts Say »
June 30, 2005
Trusted adults, not strangers, to blame for most sexual abuse
For survivors of child sexual abuse, some scars may not be physically visible.
Through 25 years of working at Listening Ear Crisis Center, 107 E. Illinois Street in Mt. Pleasant, Donald Schuster, executive director, has seen many signs of sexual abuse.
"There are some medical symptoms that may have an underlying rationale behind them,“ Schuster said. "Sometimes we see a kid with physical symptoms and think it's a medical problem or just a kid acting out and we don't stop and ask kcould this be a child sexually abused?' That's a good question to ask when you see something really out of the ordinary.“
Some of those warnings include new bedwetting in children, migraine headaches, sleep disturbances such as nightmares, fear of the dark, depression or crying for no connective reason, repeated memories with no finish, reoccurring memories of events that are not negative and just happen, stomach problems with no identifiable reason, and children performing self-destructive acts like cutting or mutilating themselves in anger or frustration.
Younger children being sexually abused may also begin to use words about sexuality they don't even know what the words mean. Children may also be afraid of certain smells or people because they trigger the memory of the abuse.
"It's a variety of behaviors from the kid sitting in class and not doing anything, to a kid acting out in school,“ Schuster said.
In his job Schuster has seen Listening Ear counselor's help numerous people.
"Every case I read is heart wrenching, and can bring tears to my eyes,“ Schuster said. "It's a shock and a surprise even though I know it's something that happens in our society.“
Sexual abuse has many extents from fondling to sexual intercourse, said Dr. Shiwaji Pawar, Gratiot Medical Center pediatrician.
"There is a whole range of definitions of sexual abuse,“ Pawar said.
Seeing four to five cases of child sexual abuse a year, Pawar said females are three times more prone to abuse. Kids with disabilities are also more vulnerable because they are dependent on others.
Other factors increasing chances of sexual abuse include being in a single-parent family with the mother working all the time, being around marital conflict, or in a home with substance abuse, Pawar said.
"These all point to higher risks.“
In the sexually abused children Pawar encounters, he said the victims are broken down into 10 percent being kids up to 3-years-old, 25 percent from 3-to-8-years-old, 30 percent in the 8-to-12-year-old bracket, and 30 percent over age 12.
Through his dealings, Schuster said he also sees a high percentage of cases where the mother of the child being sexually abused was also victimized as a child.
"It can be a family cycle. When we talk to the mother, we find out she made poor decisions on where she allowed the child to be or in relationships she made,“ Schuster said.
Perpetrators also have certain characteristics.
Among those traits are using fear or threats to scare the abused child or at times even their parents.
"They are like emotional hostages and people get trapped,“ Schuster said.
Having "intelligence“ is not necessarily something usually associated with criminals, but child sexual abusers use some smarts.
"They put themselves in situations where they can gain easy access to kids,“ said a survivor of child sexual abuse.
As perpetrators of children, abusers also must somehow find their way into the child's life.
"Most child sexual abuse cases happen from someone who knows the child and has some level of trust within the family,“ said Al Kaufmann, director of Children and Family Services at Listening Ear.
Over the last two-plus decades protecting children has taken a giant step forward.
Since 1975, there has been a state law that requires anyone suspecting child abuse to report it to the Department of Human Services, formerly the Family Independence Agency, Kaufmann said.
While each state has its own child protection law, Kaufmann said in this community, both the Department of Human Services and local law enforcement usually work cases together.
For sexually abused children, acceptance and support is key.
"It's really important for a parent to believe the child and support the child. Most children just don't lie about sexual abuse,“ Schuster said. "When a kid says something about sexual abuse it's important to believe it, support the child, and be active.“
Once a person feels he or she is a survivor of child sexual abuse, seeking help can be the hardest step to take.
"Learning to ask for help is an important step for victims,“ Kaufmann said. "It's OK to ask for help.“
Getting therapy or attending a support group are two possible ways of receiving guidance.
"It takes a lot of courage to open that door,“ Kaufmann said. "It's important for us to be sensitive from minute one and to help them make that decision to use the help available. If they decide not to get help, leave the door open.“
The average therapy sessions for children are six to nine months.
"The typical person, if they are fortunate, has therapy after disclosure and then at different parts of their life,“ Schuster said. "It's a long process that probably feels like a roller coaster.“
Adults abused as children often bond with other survivors.
"When adult victims can come together with other adult victims they feel a connection. That may be the first time they can really talk about it because they have others who went through the same thing,“ Schuster said.
In talking about their past with other survivors, adult victims are working on dealing with anger in appropriate ways and getting rid of the blame.
"They are learning how to better take care of themselves,“ Kaufmann said.
Therapy also can help survivors realize they didn't bring the act on themselves.
"Dealing with the wound and creation of the individual actually having self-worth and value is an important part of therapy.“
For those encouraging a survivor, patience is crucial.
"Be supportive over the person's whole life,“ Schuster said. "Problems and feelings will come back to life at different points of their lives. It's different for each person.“
A private non-profit service agency, Listening Ear Crisis Center gets funding from the Mt. Pleasant Area Community Foundation, United Way, the Alden and Vada Dow Family Foundation, Rollin M. Gerstacker Foundation, the State of Michigan and general public donations.
"We don't want the payment for therapy to be a barrier because it's hard enough walking through the door," Schuster said. "Private and public support assures services can be provided free of charge.“
Posted by Nealus at June 30, 2005 12:47 PM
Comments
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)
