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April 02, 2005

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

Statistics from United Family Services indicate in 2002, an estimated 896,000 children in the United States were victims of abuse and neglect. Domestic violence affects two out of 10 households, and on average a case of child abuse is reported every 10 seconds. April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and one local woman tells her story of how she overcame a lifetime of abuse.

Though hundreds of thousands of child abuse cases are reported annually, many go unreported. These children, if lucky enough to grow up to adulthood, often repeat the same terrible things that were done to them, Carrie, (not her real name), is one of these victims.

Currently a resident of the local YWCA, Carrie admits she has been in one abusive relationship after another as a direct result of the abuse she faced at the hands of her parents and other family members.

Forty-six-year-old Carrie confesses she was molested at age seven by an older male cousin, who convinced her to remain quite, because “no one would believe what had happened to her.”

“He told me my family didn’t love me and they only wanted me around to clean house and to take care of my little brother,” she said. “He convinced me they would not believe me, and he was right.”

Carrie recalled the devastating feeling she experienced the day her parents learned of the incident.

“I remember they blamed me,” she said. “They told me it was my own fault and that I asked for it. This made me feel terrible. It also made me feel like my cousin was right, my family didn’t really care about me.”

Carrie continued to endure verbal and emotional abuse from her family for as long as she can remember.

“My self esteem was so low,” she said. “I never made eye-contact with other people. I just kept my head down all the time. Not only did I have to listen to my parents call me names and belittle me, but they were constantly fighting with each other.

As Carrie recalled incident after incident of abusive behavior towards her, her blue eyes filled with tears.

“I had enough of that,” she said. “I remember that I had been beaten down so badly, that I decided to just run away.” Carrie’s “running away,” experience was not the event the 16-year-old had often fantasized.

“I left with nothing but shorts and a t-shirt on,” she recalled in a blank stare. “I didn’t even have on shoes. I was walking down the road in my bare feet and nowhere to go and no one to talk to.”

Realizing she was in a dangerous situation with very few options, the young frightened Carrie accepted the first seemingly friendly offer to come her way. This offer would lead her down a tragic road of prostitution.

“This woman saw me walking and put me up in a motel,” she explained. “She told me a man would come by that I should ‘be nice to him’ and he would help me. He talked nice to me and left $50 in an envelope.” Carrie realized the man’s offer was wrong, but he had treated her better than her own family ever had.

Carrie eventually returned home to parents who continued to be verbally abusive to her.

“People make the mistake of thinking the only kind of abuse kids experience is physical,” she said. “But there are other kinds that make kids feel just as bad.”

As Carrie grew older, each relationship she entered became more and more abusive.

“My husband beat me all the time,” she said tearfully. “Everyone I got involved with hurt me and left me. It seemed as if I would never find anyone I could trust.”

Though her past may seem impossible to overcome, Carrie has since attended counseling at the YWCA and now looks forward to a healthy and happy life ahead with her son and her grandchildren.

“She has made so much progress,” YWCA Family Violence Program Director Kim Forcinel said. “Carrie is determined to put her past behind her and stop the vicious cycle of child abuse and family violence. She is on the right track and doing so much better.”

Statistics from the National Clearinghouse for Children and Families show that more than 80 percent of perpetrators of child abuse are parents. Other relatives account for 7 percent and unmarried partners of parents account for 3 percent. The remaining perpetrators include persons with other or unknown relationships to the child victims, such as camp counselor, school employee, etc.

Female perpetrators, mostly mothers, are typically younger than male perpetrators, mostly fathers. Women also comprise a larger percentage of all perpetrators than men – 58 percent compared to 42 percent. Nearly 29 percent of all perpetrators of sexual abuse are other relatives, and nearly one-quarter were in non-relative or non-childcaring roles. In addition, less than 3 percent of all parent perpetrators have been associated with sexual abuse.

Posted by Nealus at April 2, 2005 07:07 PM

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