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September 30, 2004
Pahrump: A community in crisis
September 29, 2004 -- By PHILLIP GOMEZ -- pahrumpvalleytimes.com
Editor's note: The following is the first of a two part series on No To Abuse, an agency that helps families develop strong relationships and overcome abusive situations. No To Abuse has plans to build a new facility in the valley - and executive director Linda Nowell has the facts that explain just how badly the service is needed in Pahrump. Part two will be published in Friday's edition.
Squaring the circle of intimate relationships is the mission of a Nye County organization with roots in Pahrump. Its core principles of unconditional acceptance, risk-taking in the face of the unknown and self-respect daily confront the dark side of human behavior: self-gratification, insecurity and deceit.
Next year No To Abuse, a family-oriented human services organization, will celebrate a decade of providing a variety of crisis intervention, counseling and educational programs to families in Pahrump and throughout Nye and Esmeralda counties. NTA also runs a satellite office in Tonopah with outreach to far-flung small communities.
Last week, the Nye County commissioners awarded the organization with a four-acre site near the duck ponds to construct its long-planned facility. The 16,000-square-foot building will enable the nonprofit to hold five widely ranging family programs under one roof, including a new shelter for abused spouses with room for three times as many people as are currently housed in a separate facility.
NTA is what its name says it stands for, but it's really about returning individuals and families to well-functioning, relational health, says Nowell. "NTA is for families; healthy, happy and safe relationships," she says. Some 600 to 800 families are served each year by the organization.
Sex and violence aren't just graphic depictions increasingly shown in movies and other media. They often pair up in life, because sexual activity is private, socially sanctioned in the family unit. And sexual abuse usually takes place in private, hidden from society's policing agencies.
Sexual abuse and domestic violence are intimately related. About 80 percent of women seeking NTA's help for domestic violence report a history of sexual abuse sometime in their past. Two or three women per month report domestic violence to NTA, says Nowell. "I believe it is much more pervasive than the average citizen realizes," she says.
Domestic violence appears to feed on sexual abuse and the women who are its victims. A rape victim is 50-percent more likely to be raped a second time within the following 12 months than a woman who was not raped, Nowell says. This is because "perpetrators are attracted to certain characteristics that tend to be exuded by rape victims," she says. The operative word here is "needy."
"It's not uncommon for us to see a victim who comes to us to get away from a perpetrator, and very shortly she gets involved with another perpetrator. A woman sometimes thinks she has to be in a relationship with a man to prove her self-value and worth, rather than seek her own independence.
"Sexual assault is a closet crime," says Nowell. "Nobody wants to talk about it." If you are robbed, society sympathizes, she says. But if you are sexually assaulted, society often doesn't look at your loss in the same way. It's considered a privacy issue.
The Pahrump Valley has a particular problem with domestic violence because it has a particular problem with drug abuse, Nowell says. And it has the particular demography of a large elderly population that contributes to abusive relationships - surprisingly in a sexual turnaround.
"Our profile is, we have older men who present themselves as victims of domestic abuse by wives. That's not true all over the United States," Nowell says. About 5 percent of domestic violence victims in the U.S. are male, she says. "But we think there may be more male victims; they just don't come forth and identify themselves.
"There are female perpetrators of domestic violence. There are female sexual-assault perpetrators, just as there are male sexual-assault perpetrators."
NTA deals with domestic violence victims, child abuse victims, sexual assault victims and elder assault victims. Domestic assault victims present the largest number of NTA's clients.
"We try to help them get the assistance they need," Nowell says.
Six-week parenting classes are offered for parents without an adequate understanding of good child-rearing practices. "We do see a good number of at-risk children for child abuse and neglect. We have a big problem in this valley with drugs. Parental substance abuse leads to a lot of physical and emotional abuse or neglect. We see that a lot."
Substance abuse, whether alcohol or drugs, does not cause domestic violence, Nowell says. "A perpetrator is either pre-disposed to violence or not," she says. But drinking or drugs can cause many people to lose self control. "Substance abuse doesn't cause violent behavior, but it contributes to it." Similarly, sexual jealousy or recklessness in gambling with family income can aggravate relations and lead to violent behaviors.
Pahrump, Nowell said, is legendary for stories of single parents spending the whole night gambling in casinos while their children sleep in the car.
"Domestic violence can be intimidation, threats, manipulation or actual physical violence. But only the latter would be classified by law enforcement as a criminal offense. However, all are factors in domestic violence," said Nowell.
Trying to get a partner to do something through manipulation or intimidation is a common tactic abusive personalities employ early on, and a warning sign of worse to come, she said.
"Those are not the characteristics mature adults would choose in a relationship."
Posted by Nealus at September 30, 2004 08:25 AM
