An Inch From Murder

is My Life As A Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse – It’s about Boston Catholic Priests; being Sexually Molested, Sexually Assaulted, Sodomized and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Written 20 Years Ago This Year – 2004 – And Now – Brought To Print For
the First Time

I was sexually molested and assaulted and sodomized – from the age of 4
years old – until 16 years of age – by 7 different men – family friends – men
in a position of authority – men I worshiped in the Catholic Church –
a police officer – a Judo instructor and relatives.

#1 A Godfather of a brother – a man who once was in the Seminary –
with a wife and 4 daughters – an English Professor at a prestigious Boston
College.

#2 A Cousin – 12 years older than me – who happened to have gone thru
already – the 4 siblings above me in age – including a sister. A Marine –
and a lieutenant in the Massachusetts National Guard

#3 My Uncle – A Roman Catholic Priest – a retired Chaplain in the US Air
Force. A Deacon at the Holy Trinity Church in Boston before his Retirement.

#4 My Uncle’s Monsignor – at the Holy Trinity Church in Boston – where I
would visit as an altar boy and say Mass with the Monsignor – and then
afterwards – before lunch – he would have his way with me.

#5 A Police Officer – a next-door neighbor – with the Sheriff’s Department –
Middlesex County – Massachusetts……whom I helped deliver bulk
newspapers with on Sundays.

#6 A Judo Instructor – a family friend – a brown belt in Judo – who worked
for a Major New England Supermarket chain – and had seduced other teen
boys – in my age group – with money and gifts and food and the love of a
family friend from a kind bachelor.

#7 A co-worker – who was 3 times my age at 15 – whereby I was a short
order cook at a manufacturing company in Belmont, Mass. – where I
worked part-time after school – a few nights a week.

**************

I put down the Pen – in the late 1980’s – when it was apparent – that No One
was interested in the Plight of the Male Victim of Sexual Child Abuse. I
couldn’t sell my book.

Why – after 20 years? Well – I always thought that I would live a long life in
order to tell my story. But after last years’ diagnosis at 51 – I doubt – I’ll have
the strength to really tell – what I need to say today – at some later date. I
learned in 2003 – that I had [CHF] Congestive Heart Failure – And I reminded
myself of my pledge 20 Years Ago – that – If I might Save One Person’s Life –
from the misery that I suffered – by telling my Story – by having someone
read – that there is hope – and recognition for the abused – that you CAN
GET HELP before it’s too late – then – I truly will have accomplished
something in my lifetime.

An Inch From Murder is MY Life – One that No One was interested in
learning about in 1984.

In 1984 through 1986 – I experienced a life of fear in a maximum security
prison in Connecticut and in the State’s Mental Institution for the
Criminally Insane – for the Crime of Attempted Murder.

I was not wrongfully accused of anything. I was experiencing Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder – after the “can opened up” – from a life of
Alcoholism – Divorce – Depression; Self-Destruction, Self-Mutation,
Drug-Abuse and Despair – and after many ideations of Suicide – I finally –
in a Psychotic State – of wanting to render my victim – the cost and toll –
for all of the wrongs – done to me in my life………
by the many men who had wronged me – I attempted to take HIS life –
in revenge against all those – who had harmed me.

This Perp [victim] by the way was just a casual drinking buddy – a Real
Estate friend – who – undenounced to me – was a closet Homo – and one
night staying over at his house – in the middle of the night – he came into
his guest bedroom – and jumped on my bones. I freaked – but a whole
month went by before and during the “uncanning” that I sought revenge
against this person.